Blame It on The Hokey Pokey; The Power of Personal Stories

 Hokey Pokey 2by Marguerite Ham (Re-Posted with Permission)

I was recently teaching a Presentation Skills workshop for a client, and one of my dearest friends, gifted speaker and presenter, Karyn Ruth White (www.karynruth.com) did a guest presentation on The Power of Personal Stories and how to integrate them into our presentations, speeches, trainings and daily interactions with people.  Karyn Ruth taught us that personal stories can create “universal teaching points” by which we and others can learn and grow.  Karyn Ruth believes that stories are information with a soul!

Think of a personal story, circumstance or experience that you have had and that created an impact on you.  It could involve your interaction with one of your children, a friend, a family member or a complete stranger!  Here is a personal story that Karyn Ruth shared with the group:

Karyn Ruth White was walking into Walmart. She was not having a particularly good day or feeling energetic or social.  (We have all had days like that – part of the human journey!)  As she entered, she saw one of the check-out ladies that she had seen before and had had a casual conversation with from time to time, Tiffany.  As Tiffany was checking out a customer, she was humming the song “Hokey Pokey”.  (Yup!  You got it…. “you put your right foot in, you take your right foot out”…now try to get that song OUT of your head for the rest of today!)  Karyn Ruth  realized in that moment that she had a choice: she could walk right by and not acknowledge Tiffany or her song and continue feeling not so energetic or social, OR she could join in with the song and lighten up her day.  (You guessed it, she chose the latter.)  Karyn Ruth went right over to Tiffany and started singing the song out loud and doing “the dance”.  Before long, there were giggling children and light-hearted adults dancing the Hokey Pokey in Walmart!  Everyone who was participating or just passing by was laughing and clapping along!

Pause for a moment and reflect. What “Universal Teaching Points” do you see in that story? In other words, what’s the moral of the story? [Hint: there can be more than one!]

When I listened to this story, I heard these Universal Teaching Points:

  1. Every day there are choices: to choose to be sad or happy, engaged or not engaged, it’s a choice to stay in a negative place or shift to a positive outlook.
  2. We can choose to participate in life or walk right by and ignore the moments or opportunities that show up in our lives.
  3. We can connect with other human beings or we can retreat into solitude.
  4. Within all of us is a giggling, dancing child wanting to do the Hokey Pokey!
  5. When we are dancing the Hokey Pokey, we are all connected, doing the same dance. We become united through the movement of the dance and joy.  Judgments, positions, titles, all disappear, we become one, dancing the same dance.

You may take something different from any given personal story. When we hear someone else’s story, we can’t help but hear it through our own life’s experiences. What we learn from a story depends on the storyteller AND on what our lives bring to the tale! So, if you took a few different Universal Teaching Points away from “The Hokey Pokey,” don’t worry!

I challenge you to mine your life for stories that can create a “Universal Teaching Point”: an experience you have had, a situation you survived, a circumstance that has occurred or that you have observed.  Dig a little deeper to find a golden nugget of learning and growth for yourself and others.  Find ways to share that story and, more importantly, share what you learned from that moment or experience.  Research shows that storytellers and their audience actually think more alike as the story goes on – the story creates a meeting of the minds! 

As leaders, it is one of our goals to connect with others, to find ways to continuously grow and learn ourselves, and to challenge others to grow and develop as well.  Storytelling is a great tool to use as a leader!  Have fun mining your stories and growing and teaching through the “Universal Teaching Points” of your stories.  And never forget, no matter how bad your mood…you always have the power to “turn yourself around.”

Karyn Ruth White is a nationally recognized Keynote Speaker and Success Humorist.  She is also a Professional Speaking Coach. She works with leaders who want to up-level their impact with personal story and a professionally crafted message.  She is the First Place National Winner of The Jeanne Robertson “Comedy with Class” Competition and delivers Funny Keynotes across the U.S., helping business to thrive and have fun doing it! She is the owner of Laugh and Learn Productions, LLC, an enterprise helping people stress less and work more joyfully. Visit her at www.karynruth.com, on LinkedIn or on Twitter @karynruth.

This blog was re-printed with the permission of the author, Marguerite Ham. Marguerite is the CEO of Igniting Success.  She works with leaders and their teams to create team cohesion and enhance productivity with training and coaching.  She is an exceptional Trainer and Coach in the areas of:Leadership Development, Team Dynamics, Workplace Conflict, Presentation Skills, and Memory Acuity. She brings heart and humor to everything she touches. Find out more about the author, Marguerite Ham at www.MargueriteHam.com

The Case of the Clueless CEO

sherlock-holmes-462957_1280

I have worked up close and personal with a great many CEO’s.  Some were great, some were not. I’ve observed how they manage (or mismanage) their operations. I’ve taken note of the degree of alignment between their word and their deed. I have assessed whether they are true leaders of people, or egotistical, duplicitous bags o’ wind.

A CEO of the second ilk, once hired me to help him craft his Annual State of the Company Address.  He was having some PR problems and wanted me to help him come across as more down to earth, or in his words, to help him “appeal to the common man.”

My first encounter with this guy should have sent me running. He left me waiting outside his office for 45 minutes. I overheard him berate his assistant, cut people off in mid-sentence, scream, swear and slam down the phone. Oh yeah…this was going to be fun!

The good news is, while I was waiting, I had the pleasure of meeting his HR Director, Jorge. Jorge was a class act. Soft-spoken, impeccable in manner and dress, an all-around A-Player. He made apologies for his boss, something I’m sure he did often. I pretended to understand.

Fast forward, I help this CEO craft his speech, we cull his message to three compelling points, we add several humanizing personal stories and craft some business-relevant humor.  We put together a good speech and he is pleased.  I decide to attend the meeting to watch him in action. He delivers the speech. He is coming across as somewhat human and all is going well, until…

The Q&A Portion.  This is the part of the speech for which he has no script.  He starts taking questions from “the common man.”  A woman raises her hand:

“Sir, I have a question. 

Fine. What’s your name? 

Doris.

How long have you worked for us Doris?

33 Years.

So, what’s your question?”

BOOM!  In one fell swoop, this CEO has negated his entire Keynote message, about the importance of “being a team” and “working together as a family.”  He has demonstrated to his people in real-time, that after 33 years of service, he can’t even be bothered to learn your name. The reaction from the audience is palpable.  I watch people lean back in their chairs, cross their arms and roll their eyes. There are no more questions and the meeting ends on a very sour note.

Here’s the kicker!  This CEO is TOTALLY CLUELESS as to what has just transpired. He walks out of the meeting patting himself on the back for a job well done, while “the common man,” scurries to avoid eye contact.

Then…we go to Starbucks next door and he asks me for my honest opinion.  This is what I tell him:

“Here’s what I’ve observed.  Your original stated intention to me was that you wanted ‘to better connect with your people.’ Then, I watch in horror, as you miss a golden opportunity to connect with Doris, an employee of 33 years, while alienating the rest of the room in the process. This leaves me to surmise, that ‘creating connection with your people’ is either;

a) Not something you are naturally capable of, or

b) Not something you are sincerely interested in doing.

Either way, here is my heartfelt advice to you:

If you want to lead this organization effectively, then close your office door. From this point on, do not speak to anyone in your organization directly, unless absolutely necessary.  Your disinterest in people can not be disguised, so stop trying.  You should lead as a ‘behind-the-scenes’ CEO. Stick to planning and visioning, to guide and grow the business. Leaving all actual human contact, to your exceptional HR Director, Jorge. Is that helpful feedback?”

The guy’s probably still sitting at Starbucks with his jaw open.

As a leader of people, your word and deed have impact.  Make sure it is the impact you intend. It is imperative that your messaging be aligned with your mission, and that you stay aware of how both you and your message are being received. One of the key lessons I continue to learn from coaching leaders is;

 WHO you are, will always speak louder than your speech, no matter how well written.

Karyn Ruth White is a nationally recognized Keynote Speaker and Public Speaking Coach. She works with leaders who intend to connect and engage through a professionally crafted message, and she helps professional speakers who want to tighten their talks.  She is the First Place, National Winner of The Jeanne Robertson “Comedy with Class” Competition. She  delivers Funny Keynotes across the U.S., helping business to thrive and have fun doing it! She is the owner of Laugh and Learn Productions, LLC, an enterprise helping people to stress less and work happy.  Visit her at www.karynruth.com, on LinkedIn or on Twitter @karynruth.

3 Quick Ways to Kill a Perfectly Fine Speech

pistol-1686696_1280

In my adventures as a Keynote Coach, and having observed thousands of Keynote Speakers over the years, I have noticed a pattern. There are 3 main things untrained or unaware speakers tend to do, which unless corrected, have the potential to kill their performance.

#1: The first of these is the temptation to tell your audience EVERYTHING you know about your subject.  I have found that when I work with Trainers who want to start keynoting, the first thing we have to do is cull about 80% of their content.  Repeat after me: A KEYNOTE AND A TRAINING ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANIMALS! Think of it this way, a Keynote is the Why and a Training is the How.  A Keynote should appeal to us on an emotional level, then the training can fill in the tactical details. Amateurs try to combine both. This is a mistake!

#2: The second deadly mistake is: Never make it about them. Wanna kill a perfectly fine speech? By all means, talk about yourself for the full hour.  The most fascinating of personalities bring their audience along for the ride.  Nothing will shut your listeners down faster and send them scurrying to their smart phones, than an egotistical blowhard with a microphone.

#3: The third quickest way to kill a perfectly fine speech is to use inappropriate, irrelevant and inauthentic humor.  Remember: If you use a funny video you found on the internet, chances are at least half of your audience has already seen it, and you run the risk that another speaker has used the same video in their talk.  Gratuitous use of videos of dancing babies is not the professional standard we want to set.  USE ORIGINAL HUMOR…that way you stand out and there is no chance that your audience has “heard/seen that one before.” This is why we invest the time to craft “Signature Stories”, because no one else has yours!

If you have a great message to share with the world, then you owe it to us, and to yourself, to share it well.  We want to hear what you have to say. If you need help crafting your message, hire a professional speaking coach.  Make sure they are someone who “gets” you and what you are trying to accomplish, and that they honor your original voice and don’t try to mold you to their style.  A great coach is a success partner and their guidance and expertise can make all the difference on the impact you make with your spoken word.

Karyn Ruth White is a nationally recognized Professional Speaking Coach. She works with leaders who want to up-level their impact with a professionally crafted message, and she helps professional speakers who want to tighten their existing talk or re-work their branding with a new Keynote. She loves helping speakers craft their original voice with their original humor. She is the First Place National Winner of The Jeanne Robertson “Comedy with Class” Competition and delivers Funny Keynotes across the U.S., helping business to thrive and have fun doing it! She is the owner of Laugh and Learn Productions, LLC, an enterprise helping people stress less and work more joyfully. Visit her at www.karynruth.com, on LinkedIn or on Twitter @karynruth.

How Low Can You Go?

bad-157437_1280This month the standard for customer service was lowered beyond my imagination by United Airlines. 

As a Humorist and Keynote Speaker, I present HILARIOUS talks to companies on the Do’s and Don’ts of Customer Service around the country. This month I have added a very big DON’T to my story list!

Whenever I travel, I have a mental checklist I go through; Will the plane be on time? Will it take off and land safely? Will my trip go smoothly?  But, I have never had the following pre-travel question pop into my mind until this month:

“I wonder if I will be bodily dragged off the plane if it is overbooked?”

What in the Hell is going on?  In what scenario did the crew/management at United think that this was okay?  Where in the operations manual does it suggest; “bodily dragging a non-violent, paying customer off the plane,” as an acceptable policy. I am appalled! 

In my several decades of travel as a Speaker, I have been a frequent United customer and I have spent A LOT of money with them over the years. Based on their recent bad behavior and incredibly poor judgement, I will now go OUT OF MY WAY to see if there is any way to get to my destination without flying on United. (Even if it costs a bit more.)

Kudos United, you’ve done it…you’ve sunk so low that you’ve made Frontier’s Customer Service look good by comparison.

UA in my lexicon no longer stands for United Airlines, it now stands for Ugly Act.

Two thumbs down United.  You blew it big time!

Karyn Ruth White is a Success Humorist, Keynote Speaker, Author and Comedian. She helps companies remember the importance of treating their customers in a civilized manner.  Visit www.karynruth.com, info@karynruth.com

The Heart of the Matter

hearts-583063_1280I am amazed at how many leaders forget the importance of the human equation when leading others.

It is easy in a world of mounting deadlines and shorter attention spans, to become myopic in the way we approach our work. It is easy to see only the goal line and forget about the team.

How far do you think Tom Brady of the New England Patriots would get in this month’s Super Bowl, if he decided to carry the ball himself on every play? Well knowing Tom Brady, probably farther than most.  But for the rest of us mere mortals, we need people around us to help us complete the play and drive the ball into the end zone.

The best leaders I have ever worked with, were the leaders who brought heart to their work and freely shared their hearts with their cherished teams. 

There was my first corporate boss, Bob.  Bob was a big, brusque Texan who put his feet up on the conference table during meetings, smoked a cigar and when he laughed, the entire building shook.  I watched Bob closely, and what I observed was a man who knew the importance of greasing the wheels of productivity with some back-slappin,’ good ole fashioned fun.  Oh, and by the way…everyone loved him, everyone went the extra mile for him and as a company, we rocked our goals and consistently came in ahead of deadline…all the while having a lot of fun doing it.

Then there was Jan, my first mentor in my comedy career. Jan was the manager of the Laff Stop in Newport Beach, CA and decided to take me under her wing and groom me for the stand-up stage.  I will always be grateful to her for encouraging me to pursue my comedy dream. Jan also had a wonderful, wry sense of humor and a very big heart.  Everyone in the club loved her and whatever Jan needed, Jan got. No questions asked. Jan showed me by her leadership example that you can maintain grace under pressure and that nice goes a lot farther than rude. A great lesson Jan taught me about understanding why people heckle in a club (or in life) was this; “Rudeness is a weak person’s attempt at strength.” I have never forgotten that piece of wisdom.

And finally, there was my former boss Gerry.  Gerry was a great guy.  One of the smartest men I have ever met.  Laid back, with an endearing touch of cynicism when it came to navigating the inherent B.S. that comes with the machinations of day to day business…and once again, a great sense of humor.

Gerry had some funny quirks. For instance, every week he would go through my Request for Expenditures Form and cross out every other item, always saying the same thing: “Nice to have, not necessary.”  “Nice to have, not necessary.” “Nice to have, not necessary.” I have NEVER been able to get this sentence out of my mind.  To this day, whenever I am considering a purchase in my own business, I will hear Gerry’s voice in my head…”Nice to have, not necessary.”

So here is the heart of the matter.  I have noticed several truths in my up-close observation of leaders from my past:

#1) Heart and Humor like to travel together.

#2) People work harder for leaders they genuinely like as people.

#3) More wins happen when people can have some fun working together towards the same end.

#4) The more you can connect from a heart space with people, the more meaningful, impactful and significant the work will be.

Here is an overview of 7 Principles of Heart-Centered Leadership from Susan Steinbrecher, the co-author of Heart-Centered Leadership. Find out more and listen to her podcast at www.positivitystrategist.com

7 Principles of Heart-Centered Leadership:

  1. Know Thyself
  2. Know Your Impact
  3. Don’t Judge or Assume-instead come to understand
  4. Let Go
  5. Associates Have a Choice
  6. They Need What You Need
  7. Care for the Heart

Once again…The best leaders I have ever worked with were the leaders who brought heart to their work and freely shared their hearts with their teams.

So get out there and share your big, beautiful heart. Spread some love, light the way for yourself and others… and amid the quotas, the deadlines and the daily pressures of work…I implore you…LAUGH A LOT!!!

Karyn Ruth White is a “thought-laugher” in the exciting field of Human Potential.  She calls herself a Success Humorist (a job title she made up.) She energizes Conferences around the U.S. with her hilariously poignant Keynote talks. She is also an Author, a Comedian, a Keynote Coach and the proud owner of Laugh and Learn Productions, LLC, an enterprise helping people to live and work from their heart-centered greatness. Visit her on-line at karynruth.com or email her at info@karynruth.com